Mind your witness
When a Grandma goes to Court:
In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me”? She responded, “Why, yes I know you Mr. Williams. I have known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you were a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you are a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you”.
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney”?
She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since his childhood. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him”.
The defence attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both the counsels to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair”.